Jaya, story of an ex resident - also In memory of Daniel
I'm prompted to publish this for Daniel, a friend I knew all too briefly, who passed away recently (2006). Daniel was an inspiration to me, and to Jaya. He'll be greatly missed.
My thoughts and prayers are especially with his wife Sucheta and their two children, Ashish and Kushboo, and with everyone in Oasis India.
I wrote this on a re-visit to PB in May 2005. Jaya and her family are no longer in the project, they stayed there 2 years, they are now back in the community in Mumbai. I hope to find them on my next visit and update their story.
Please read on, and find out about Oasis India's HIV work, and more importantly, meet Jaya.
do I'm already thinking of the random nature of choosing Jaya to speak to. The reason? Because I have a great photo of her, Meenaksi and Renuka. I tell her I show people back at home that picture. I want them to see the person, not just the image. She sits next to me, a tape measure draped around her neck from the tailoring class. Sujata is sitting opposite to translate.I tell her she is important, her wishes are important, her life story belongs to her and I will respect her decision to share it, or not.
She says she is HIV positive and wants to tell people there is hope. I was expecting a simple yes or no. Here is the first insight into Jaya's spirit and strength of character.
I begin by asking about the past.
The first sentence is a long one, I can't make out if she's pausing for breath. I think shes speaking faster than Sujata (and I) can listen! Sujata and I both tell her to slow down.
Her husband was a painter but became a driver "for JK Tyres". This detail seems to be important to Jaya. His name was Dasharati, they had 3 boys, Vishal (13), Ravi (10) and Mongesh (8). Vishal is disabled, he can't walk and is very small for his age. He's bright and full of life though. The other boys are well and strong and doing well in school. "We lived in Thane" She doesn't elaborate. It's just North of Mumbai, although you can't see the join.
She continues "I worked as a domestic servant. One day he (her husband) had an accident". In the days and months that followed the familiar story of life unravelling reveals itself again. In hospital Jayas husband is tested HIV positive as is Jaya. The children are all negative. They are managing on Jayas income, with hospital bill and 3 children to raise.
It's all sounding fairly normal until she announces in a matter of fact voice "Vishal used to beg at the station". I've seen them before, children like Vishal. The sad truth is disabled children make more begging. The reality hits me. Jaya is working to support everyone and can't be there to care for them. What must it be like to be torn like this? To try and earn enough to feed them but not be there to care for them and see they go to school… desperation leads to Vishal begging, Add to this the worry (and expense) of a husband in hospital who has HIV. I'm starting to grasp the situation.
She states simply and plainly "2 years ago today he died". I feel so insensitive. This date is fixed in her mind but she has chosen not to spend the day reflecting but has chosen to speak to me. I want to say something, to apologise, but before I can she continues. "I'm happy as I came to know the Lord through this". Did something get lost in translation? Did I hear this right? I think about how crushed I felt after my divorce and this lady sees the purpose in the pain she has suffered. She lives in the hope and truth Jesus has brought into her life. I'm humbled by her strength and faith and a little ashamed of myself.
Jaya tells of wanting her children to get an education and have a better life.
Jaya was referred to Purnata Bhavan from Jeevan Sahara Kendra an HIV care project in Thane 18 moths ago. She tells me "I was happy that the family could stay together, the children could go to school and she could learn some skill as well". She was afraid of what family and friends would say. "I prayed" she again simply states. She's still in contact with familiy, they visit. Surprisingly it's the in-laws that are closer than the direct relations.
I asked what she's learned here.
What follows can only be described as a mega-sentence! Sujata summarises… she's learned about Christ, about tailoring, about embroidery. She explains her husband was distrustful of her learning things. She's always wanted to learn a skill. She tells me she doesn't think she's very good. I encourage her to keep trying, we don't get good without practice and perseverance. She explains how she takes courage from Daniel one of the teachers. "He was an orphan. He had to look after himself and work 2 jobs and get training… but he did it… so can I".
What does she see in the future for her and the boys.
I wonder… what's bigger than a mega-sentence… a giga-sentence? The future of her children is so important. She's like to see Vishal working with computers. She wants her Ravi and Mongesh to get a good education, she's right, it's one of the keys to a better life out here.
She tells me she want's to serve in some way… maybe children or women… perhaps teaching tailoring. She tell me about the project that referred her, Jeevan Sahara Kendra in Thane. Perhaps she could get a job with them in HIV home based care.
What about her dreams?
She struggles with this. She come up with things I call hopes. I tell her to let her mind run free, to consider the impossible.
She gets it… "I want to sing… for Jesus. I want to share the Gospel that has set me free". We're talking main stage here… in front of thousands. Wow!
She sees Vishal working in what I've described as a virtual world doing something where his disability won't be a problem. I showed him the train in Frankfurt airport driven by computer. "He could do something like that, it wouldn't matter that he can't walk".
She pauses… she laughs… a kind of giggle. I tell here we're getting to the real dream now… what is she thinking. She smiles and tells me it's silly. I press her to tell me. What will it be, this big dream? How amazing will it be? How far has she let her imagination run? "I want…" she begins hesitantly, looking down at the floor. "I dream of…" She looks up. She looks me full in the face. "I want to be literate. I want to speak English. I want to complete my 10th standard". Jayas dream is to do the equivalent of her O levels and to speak my language. Jayas dream is simply a right where I live.
I close by asking her what would she say to my friends back at home.
She thinks for a while… "I'm HIV positive. I have hope. I gain strength from my God".
I've seen many things, met many people in my life. I'm not easy to impress. Jaya has not only impressed me, she's made an impression on me. Her strength, her faith, her hope are things I will (perhaps we all should) try to emulate.