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Friends reunited is an amazing website. You can catch up with people you went to school or college with, even old workmates. For Oasis India there is no friends reunited. I went back to Purnata Bhavan (PB) the HIV/AIDS residential care project that so impacted me back in 2004, literally, The House of Wholeness. I went to reunite with friends, workers and beneficiaries.

I’ve got an update for you on 2 very special people, but before I tell you everything, I’ve a few question(s) for you.

• Who missed out on school for several years to help care for sick parents?
• Who made a merge living selling stuff on Bombay trains to help support their family?
• Who nearly didn’t have an operation because of their HIV positive status?
• Who was it whose parents died 10 days apart?
• Whose family was almost split up and the HIV positive member discarded?

If you’ve heard the story I’ve told about this particular brother and sister… or read it… you’ll have said their names, if not out loud then in your minds. For a split second, your brain will have connected… neurones will have fired, links will have been made, who knows, maybe you’ve even prayed instinctively as part of the process. I’m not going to use their names on purpose, to try and prompt your mind into a little more action than just reading. I’ll call the boy R and his sister N. This is the best clue you’re going to get.

If you’ve no idea what I’m going on about, please read on… This is a story of commitment, success, relationship, hope, transformation, and, it’s not finished yet!

I first met this amazing little family in 2004. They are AIDS orphans, which is still reasonably rare in India (but it’s a growing problem that will only increase over time).

You can guess from the questions, or your recollection of my stories, this little family has not had it easy.

R tested HIV+ve, N negative. N is the elder sister and has fought to keep this tiny family together ever. I met R recently at Purnata Bhavan (PB) recently. I’d heard he was in isolation with a skin complaint and was really board. When I got there he was up, out and about, looking well. He remembered me… even after 1½ years and many volunteers, he remembered me. I asked about his sister N. She’s in Nasik (a nearby town) studying. Hmm, I wonder if I can arrange a trip to meet her? We chatted, played, I took his photo… it was like I’d never been away… Then the terrible question! I knew it was coming, it always does. It isn’t asked to hurt, but it enters the ears like an arrow pierces the heart “When are you going?” R asked me. I tried to hide in my over complicated answer, but R spotted the salient points, he’s here 3 days, he leaves on the Friday morning train. There was no malice in his voice, after all, it’s just what happens, people come, and go. “You came before”, he smiled. “Yes, many times” I replied. “You come back”… I couldn’t work this out… was this a statement? I had indeed come back after all… It felt more like a question? Would I come back? “God willing, yes, I’ll come back!” 

We talked about his sister N over food, we sat at a long low table, eating rice and daal with our hands. R told me she’d be sorry to have missed me. He told me he still had the photos I’d given him, them. Simple things that had become treasured possessions. He told me they had a photo of me… that’s why he remembered… his/their neurones fired every now and then as they looked at my picture… perhaps they even prayed for me.

I found out R has been taken out of the state school. PB is providing for all his (and other similar HIV+ve childrens educational needs now. The reasoning is two fold, firstly because of intermittent sickness he’d begun to fall behind and secondly there have been HIV related issues. R fell and cut his head badly in the playground (it’s what boys of his age do after all) but you can guess what happened, blood everywhere. If it happened at your kids school you’d be nervous! I think everyone agreed it would be better to teach these guys internally within PB.

As dinner finished I overheard the possibility of a trip to Nasik the following day. I’d try to tag along for the ride and fit in a visit to see N.

Like many things in India it didn’t happen… you learn to be flexible here. I spoke to Rs house parents and found out N has a mobile phone. The following morning I managed to speak with her. She was excited, and a little upset not to have seen me. “Why didn’t you come to Nasik?” “Not enough time”. The words sounded lame as they left my lips. “Tell me N, what are you actually studying?” She explained, she’s in 12^th standard, the UK equivalent to A levels. Her topic is Home Sciences; I think it’s like domestic science (or whatever we call it these days). She finds it difficult sometimes… I tried my best to encourage her. She misses R, I told her I know, but PB will always be a kind of family for her. She explained she comes back as often as she can.

I asked her where she stays. She’s in a shared room in a Catholic hostel, not the best place for a teenager to grow up, but this girl has a strong will, I think, I pray she’ll make it.

She was honest enough to tell me she found it tough sometimes, and I don’t think she just meant the study. She went on to tell me that even thought she thought she’d get a job after this course, she’d like to continue with her education. You know, I do too. 

I think I want her to go as far as she can with her education… Do you? I wonder, how could we make it happen? 

I also wonder, what can we do for R? Maybe just not abandon him, and wait to see what he really needs as he grows up. He’s bright, and his English is already good. I wonder how far he’ll be able to go.  How far could they both go?